Merry Christmas

What would you know? Santa found us again this year. Kelsie had a good question. She wanted to know how it was that Santa could land his sleigh when we didn't have any snow on the ground. Hmmmm, not sure about that but somehow it happened. For the record, we did get some snow this year. Kelsie had to rush outside after the snowfall and measure the intake with her little snow measuring stick.The snow measured somewhere between .005-.008 cm. Pretty impressive if you ask me, and sadly to say it wasn't quite enough to even attempt making a snow ball. The kids really are missing the snow. Kevin and I aren't missing the snow at all.

Our Christmas was really laid back this year and it was nice not having to rush out anywhere. Both Alyssa and Kelsie were a little under the weather anyway on Christmas so it was nice just being able to relax at home with our own family.

Sadly to say my heart wasn't in Christmas this year. The normal Christmas things that I usually find pleasure in just weren't the same for me this year. Fortunately other hearts were in the holiday spirit this year and really touched mine. So many people were looking out for us, and helped to make our holiday bright. I appreciate all of the love that was shown to us. We have such great friends, neighbors, and family members. I hope that next year I will be back to my normal holiday self.

Boys will be Boys

The mustache boys of anesthesiology

Take a close look at Kevin in these pictures. Do you notice anything different about him? Yes, he is wearing a suit which only happens once in a blue moon but there is something else that is different? Oh, he has something growing on his face. You guessed it. Yes, he has a mustache, and Yes, I hate it.

Kevin came home from work a while ago and told me that the men in his department were all going to be growing mustaches for the upcoming Christmas party. I have seen Kevin with a mustache one other time in the ten years that we have been married, and I did not let him go out in public with the thing. When he told me that he was going to do it yet again, I just tried to keep my opinions to myself. I said tried because I couldn't help myself, and every time that he talked to me, I would just laugh at him. He is hard to take seriously when he looks like a weird convict or something. I won't say out loud what I told him that he looks like but he seriously looked creepy with the stache. Even Leah and Audrey didn't hardly recogonize him with the fuzzy mess growing on his face.

The Christmas party was last weekend, and Yes I had to be seen with him in public. It wasn't as bad as I expected and we had a really nice time despite my allergic reaction to scallops. Overall it was a pleasant experience.

When Kevin returned to work this week, his stache didn't return with him. His co-workers were relieved to see that his razor had found his face, as was I.

One week down, many more to go!

I have officially survived one week of radiation. What a week it has been. I feel like I have been pretty much living in the radiation oncology department. I have to go Monday-Friday and luckily have weekends and holidays off. It's not as bad as I imagined it to be and not painful at all. I had heard a lot of horror stories about radiation. You know the stories, My friends cousins husband's wife had radiation and her face got burned so bad that you couldn't even recognize her afterwards. Yes, those kids of stories. Everyone always has a story don't they? Well, so far no burns, no vomiting, and no hair loss. I have felt a little more run down than usual, and my eyes seem dry. Other than that, really I don't have much to complain about.

I have met some incredible people in the radiation oncology department. It's surprisingly a really good place to hear some incredible stories of courage and endurance. As I have talked to many patients this week, we have all come up with the same conclusion. What gets us through this is our attitude. We have to remain positive and have faith that things are going to work out. Sometimes that's hard to do, but I know there is a lot of truth to that.

I am really hopeful that this will be the last of my treatment as it is really the last resort. I will continue radiation through the first week of January, and then will have an MRI in the spring to see if this worked or not. By the time we find out the results, we will have been going at this for three years. I was diagonosed with the tumor on Alyssa's 5th birthday and it would be so nice to have it gone by her 8th birthday.

Radiation has advanced tremendoulsy, and there are so many complex procedures to ensure that they are only getting the radiation to the exact location that they are wanting. What I am having done is called fractionated radiation. Instead of one large dose of radiation, I am having several small doses over six weeks of time. I wear a mesh mask over my face which looks awesome by the way, and then I lay on a table for about 20 minutes while some x-rays and radiation beams are shooting into my body. It's hard to describe the feeling after radiation. It's a lot like having the life zapped out of you. As soon as I start walking out to my car, I feel normal again.

Ice

The Opryland hotel puts on an incredible ice show every year, and this year we had the privilege of going for FREE. The admission is very expensive and it would have cost our family over $80.00 to go. Kevin was able to get some free tickets from work and so we decided to check it out. All of the sculptures are hand carved out of colored ice, and the work is incredible. As you get ready to enter you are given a lovely blue parka to wear as it is only eight degrees inside where the sculptures are. Mind you I have now lived in Tennessee for eighteen months and no longer remember the freezing cold. As we all put her parka's on and walked inside, we could see our breath. It was so cold, and the kids and I just kept saying over and over, "This is what it was like in Utah, and we are freezing." Seriously it was so cold, but really neat to see. Afterwards we warmed up with some hot chocolate and then walked back to our van in the nice 70 degree weather.

These pictures were taken at Kelsie's preschool and I think they turned out cute, despite the kids all with their deer in headlights look. Oh well, can't complain too much especially when the pictures were free. Each family received a free package of pictures that included 1 8x10, 2 5x7's, 8 wallets, and some cute Christmas cards.

Speaking of pictures, we have none on our computer. All was lost after we got our computer back. I try not to think about it because it just makes me sick thinking about it. I am grateful that at least I will be able to print off some pictures from our blog, and from some other companies who I have ordered pictures from in the past. What a precious thing to lose though.

We are looking forward to a wonderful Thanksgiving tomorrow. Hopefully it will go better than last year. Kevin has Thanksgiving off, and it will be great spending some time together as a family.

I'm back..... but not for long

You don't realize how much you use a computer until you are forced to go without one for weeks on end. It's so frustrating! It's especially frustrating when the person fixing your computer thinks that they didn't back up your computer before having to rebuild a new one. Not really a great thing when you have all of your children's lives in pictures stored on the computer. Sadly to admit, we also didn't make any backup disks. I am really holding out for hope that all is not lost.

I am borrowing a friends laptop as we speak, and hopefully one day we will be the owners of our own computer.

On a more positive note, my wonderful Mother was here visiting again and was able to be here for 10 days. She is so amazing, and I am grateful that she comes to visit often. In talking to some of my friends who have also moved away for residencies, I realized that I am really spoiled by how often our family members come to visit us. It's so great being able to see our family so often.

My Mom spoiled us, and we just had a wonderful time together. I am already counting down the days until her next visit.

As soon as I have a computer again, I will post some pictures.

Happy Birthday

Leah enjoying her cake

Audrey looking confused

The cake that took a long time to make

Smile girls, it's your birthdat

Thanks to my wonderful friends Liz and Rachel for helping me with these invitations

I can't believe that these two little girls are now one year old. What an adventure raising twins has been. I have learned a lot, and have grown a lot. Life with these two is beyond busy. I didn't know a lot in raising twins, but there was one thing I knew for certain. That being that when they turned one we were going to have a huge celebration. Making it through the first year of raising twins is quite an accomplishment if I don't say so myself, and we survived. Our hair might be turning gray now but we did it, that's the most important part. We had an open house Candy Land themed birthday party with lots of food, and lots of people. I got too busy hosting the party and don't really have a whole lot of pictures from the party. Just imagine lots of people, lots of food, and lots of presents. It was so fun. Leah and Audrey enjoyed their cake, and enjoyed their visit with Grandma who was also here to celebrate their first birthday.

Kelsie-ism's

I sure do love this little girl, and as always she makes me laugh so hard. Other times she about brings me to tears. Here are some of her recent ramblings.

This week one of her pet frogs died. With tears in her eyes she told me that the frogs heart had run out of pumps.

Kelsie went to McDonald's today and as she was playing in the play land, some little boys about her age told her that they were going to kill her. As she was re-telling this story to Alyssa she said that she had the worstest day in her life because some mean guys told her that they were going to kill her and if they didn't kill her then they were going to bite her.

On the night of Halloween Kelsie told Alyssa that if she didn't want to go trick-or treating then she would just go for her and would give her all of her candy.

While working on a coloring contest for a local pet store, I explained to the girls that if they won then they would get a $30 gift certificate and asked them what they would buy. Alyssa said that she would probably buy a ferret until Kevin told her that those were way more than $30.00. Kelsie then pipes up and says, " Alyssa, when we get older if you still want a ferret then I will buy you one with my money okay?"

Kelsie has been asking about her Great-Grandma Wheeler. Grandma Wheeler died before Kelsie was born but we have a book about Grandma's life, and we often read through the book together. In the book, it talks about Grandma Wheeler's love of the Christmas holiday. She often made dolls and other homemade gifts that she would pass out at the family parties which Kelsie thought was awesome. In talking to my girls one night about the reason why we celebrate Christmas, Alyssa answered first and said that we celebrate Christmas because of the birth of Jesus. Kelsie was quick to tell Alyssa that she was wrong and that the reason why we celebrate Christmas was because of Grandma Wheeler.

I have never seen a more caring, giving, selfless child than Kelsie. She has a heart of gold, and some of the things that come out of that little girl's mouth are just beyond touching. She is constantly thinking of others and puts the needs of others before her own. If you ask me that's pretty impressive for a four year old.

Halloween 2009

Alyssa the karate master

Kelsie the witch

Leah the butterfly and Audrey the white tiger

Audrey made the cutest tiger cub

kids say the darndest things

As I was sitting in the living room one night, Alyssa popped in looking like this. She says to me, "Mom, I look like you did when you were having the twins." Pretty close if you ask me

Aren't we all poor?

I know that a blog is probably not the most appropriate place to talk about finances but I am going to do it anyway mainly because I have had a lot on my mind lately regarding the subject.

As I was reflecting back on the last ten years of my life back to when Kevin and I were newlyweds and living on nothing but love, I realized that not a whole lot has changed. True, we now have four kids and have slightly aged but we are still living solely on love. I don't like to use the term "poor" because I don't feel like we have ever had to go without, but there have been times when I wished that we didn't have to worry whether we had a coupon or not.

I have been contemplating going back to work just to bring in some extra money. As I have been toiling with the idea about where I wanted to apply, and what I wanted to do, nothing seemed to come to mind. I wasn't sure about how the job would work out with Kevin's schedule since he is required to work some weekends but still I was heavily concerned with our financial well being.

After church yesterday I was set apart for my new calling as a visiting teaching supervisor, and just still was feeling a lot of stress about life. As the second counselor laid his hands upon my head, he gave me one of the neatest blessings. In the blessing he told me that the Lord wanted me to know that the most important place that I could be right now is home raising my girls, and that I needed to rely more on my husband. As he said that, in my heart I knew that what I am doing right now as a Mother is the most important job that I could be doing.

Fast forward to today; About an hour ago I received a phone call from one of my great friends, Sonya here in Tennessee. She said that she had been thinking about me all week, and that she felt like she needed to call and check up on me. She then asked me if she could pray with me over the phone. In her prayer she asked that my medical treatment would go well, and that the tumor would eventually shrink down in size. She blessed our family, and my husband, and then blessed that our financial situation would get better. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. How would she know that our financial situation wasn't exactly the best? Sonya is not a member of the same church that I belong to and she wanted me to know that she was a firm believer in the power of prayer. I felt so moved by her prayer, and so touched that she would call to simply pray with me over the phone.

I feel so fortunate for all of the many blessings that I have been given, and I know that I have been given a lot. Where there's a will, there is a way. I don't know how it works out that we can survive on such a small amount each month but it does. I do look forward to having a real paycheck, but that will have to wait for about 2 1/2 years. For now, it's off to finding more great deals.

It's been about a month or so now since Leah has discovered how to climb stairs, and since this video, she is much faster at doing it now. Audrey doesn't quite know how to climb stairs yet, she only knows how to fall down them. I am not sure what I will do when both of them start wanting to climb. I feel like I am constantly chasing after them as it is, and already they are into EVERYTHING!

Church is quite the experience these days because of course they just want to explore everyone and everything around them. In Sunday school a few weeks ago, they were underneath a ward member's chair who we didn't know at all. He sat there patiently as two babies were pulling on his pant leg, and crawling all around him. He didn't seem to annoyed with them which was nice.

Grocery shopping is getting easier as well, and I am in love with the shopping carts that look like cars because they have two seats in the front for the babies to ride. It works out a lot better than having to take the stroller plus a grocery cart around the store.

We have almost survived the first year with these two, I can't believe it! What a crazy but fun journey it's been.

I have a fear of needles, and I am very claustrophobic. Having a brain tumor doesn't exactly help either of these fears. One being that I have to have frequent MRI'S, and the other being that now I have to solely depend on needles in hopes to shrink this dang tumor. I am now giving myself shots which is something that I didn't ever think I would be able to do but is getting easier. Originally the plan was to do the shots just once a month but because of the adverse reaction I had, we are now on to plan B which is to slowly increase the dose by giving the shots more frequently. The whole system is quite a complicated mess actually. I started out by doing the shots just once a day for a few days, then we increased to twice a day for a few days. As of yesterday, I am now supposed to be doing the shots three times a day. We won't mention the fact that I was only able to get one shot in yesterday. That's another thing about these shots is that it is a complicated drug in itself. You have to thaw out the medication thirty minutes before injecting. After that you place it back in the refrigerator, and then do the same process all over again. It will be nice when at some point when we can get back to just doing the shots once per month.

I feel like a drug addict just waiting each day for the perfect opportunity to shoot up. My drugs are something that I can't live without even though I would like to, trust me on this one. I really hate this treatment plan.

It's been really hard not feeling complete anger towards my neurosurgeon. Even though he told me up front that I had a very aggressive tumor and treatment was going to be complicated, I still feel angry that he wasn't able to remove any of the tumor the second time around. I realize that I had a decision in this, and that surgery was something that I too felt good about doing, but that still does not help the fact that here I am still with this gigantic tumor. This tumor is close to the optic nerves as I have mentioned before, and is also on the carotid artery so I do realize that there is not a whole lot that can be done at this time surgically speaking.

I think that for now the plan is to continue with these injections for about 3-4 months. At that time, I will go ahead and have another MRI to see if this medication has made any improvements with the size of the tumor. If it has then, it sounds like I will just continue with the injections. If there has not been any improvements we will go ahead with the radiation treatment.

So there you have it I guess, Trisha's health in a nutshell!

back to life, back to reality

Arriving to Tennessee in style

Kelsie loving every minute with Grandpa.
Her comment when he left was, "I didn't use to miss people when they left,
but now I do." Oh, so sweet!It was so cute watching these two together.
Kelsie loves her Grandpa

It was a little on the sunny side okay?

Aunt Tracy, Alyssa, Grandma, and Grandpa at Alyssa's school play

Kevin and Tracy at the Musician's Hall of Fame

Kelsie and Grandpa waiting for Kelsie's ride to pick
her up for preschool

Kevin learning from "the best"

Aunt Tracy and Leah

Grandpa and Kevin on their way to the priesthood session Grandma with the babies

cool glasses courtesy of Grandma

Leah with Grandpa

Isn't that a song? Well, it's our song I guess. Tomorrow, we are back to real life. The last few weeks has been filled with fall break, a week of PAID vacation for Kevin, and visitors from Utah. What more could we ask for? Kevin's grandparents made another visit in the motor home. Kevin's sister Tracy flew in at the same time, and it was great having them all here with us. I feel like I see our families more now than I did while living in Utah, it's great! I felt like we were able to get a lot of projects finished around our house especially while Grandpa Preece was around to do most of them for us. Kevin actually having some vacation time helped immensely as well. Part of the problem has just been that--lack of time. We have been living with a front door that didn't lock, kitchen chairs that were falling apart, a garage that was greatly disorganized, a bathroom fan that was driving me nuts, a driveway that was in desperate need of a power wash, and some other little things. Now we can cross all of those things off of our list because they are done. Grandpa and Kevin built some shelves for the garage, Grandpa spent endless hours power washing the driveway, Grandpa made it so that I now have a front door that locks, I now have a bathroom fan that doesn't have to turn on whenever you turn the light on, kitchen chairs that I won't fall off of, and overall, the house looks great.

Grandma was here and loved seeing the babies again. It's been almost seven months since she has seen them last. The babies of course remembered her, and loved being with their Grandma.

We were able to do a little sightseeing with Grandma and Tracy. We went on a tour of the Cumberland River, went to the musicians hall of fame, and just had a great time. The five days that they were here just went by way too fast like always.

We are so grateful for the wonderful families that we have, and for the continued support that they show to us. Thanks for coming to visit you guys, and we hope to see you again soon. We love you!

Did I mention how much I have enjoyed sleeping in? Alyssa has been on fall break for almost two weeks. It has been so nice not having to slap an alarm clock every morning. Back to real life I guess. Do I really have to start waking up at 5:45 tomorrow? Dang it!