thoughts about life

This is part of my journal entry from April 2, 2007

It's crazy how in a split second your life can change. One minute you are enjoying your life thinking about how perfectly things are going, and the next minute you are finding out that you are going to undergo brain surgery. Hearing the word "tumor" really shakes you up a bit.

Long story short, I had brain surgery on May 2, 2007 to remove a fairly large tumor that was growing on my pituitary gland. Because of the symptoms I was experiencing at the time I was told by my smart husband what tests I needed to have my doctor order, in particular my prolactin levels. Prolactin is a hormone secreted by the pituitary gland. Prolactin stimulates lactation (milk production). It also has many other functions, including essential roles in the maintenance of the immune system. In my case I was still secreting milk even though I had not been nursing a baby in over a year. It's fairly common for nursing mothers to get benign tumors on their pituitary glands. In most cases the tumors will go away after nursing stops. With my tumor it didn't go away, and just kept growing. I immediately found a neuro-surgeon who felt that it would be best to go ahead and have the tumor surgically removed.

I remember clearly sitting in the neurosurgeon's office and asking him specifically if I would be able to see my husband graduate from medical school, and also if I would be able to raise my children. He assured me that everything would be okay. I trusted in his care and knew that I was in the best hands possible.

During this time I was given a blessing by my husband and in the blessing he told me that Heavenly Father was aware of what I was going through, and blessed me that I would be able to go through this trial. He also blessed me that I would feel peace and I will never forget the sense of peace that was with me throughout the upcoming weeks leading up to the surgery.

The surgery went smoothly and the neurosurgeon really felt as though he was able to remove all of the tumor. Last year about this time I had a follow-up MRI done which revealed some residual tissue. Doctor's weren't sure if it was just scar tissue from the surgery or if it was still part of the tumor. I didn't worry much about it and just went on with my life. I kind of figured that I would just have my babies and worry about doing another follow up MRI after they were born.

My follow-up MRI was yesterday and it looks like the tumor is back. I am not sure yet if this is going to require another surgery but I kind of have a feeling that it just may. I am nervous about it all just like I was in the beginning. I feel like I can't possibly go through another surgery especially while trying to take care of four children.

Another journal entry after my first brain surgery I wrote this:
This whole experience of having a brain tumor and going through a major surgery has really made me rethink a lot of things. I've said it a million times, and I'll say it a million more. " I feel that I have been given a second chance." The next half of my life is going to be great. I am going to do all that I can to continue being a great person. Life is too short to be unhappy, and I am just grateful to be alive. Life is great and is so worth living. We have more family memories to make, more birthday parties to plan, more summer activities, more walks in the rain, more picnics, more water balloon fights, more Old Maid games to play, more funny stories at dinner time, more listening to Old McDonald for the billionth time in the car, more hand prints all over the walls. All of these things and more are what really matters the most.

I will keep you all posted in the upcoming weeks once I find out what is going to happen next!

Welcome to home ownership! Those of you who own homes probably already are readily aware about frozen pipes. Those of us who are new home owners may know nothing about frozen pipes. (myself included.) Well, we now know all about frozen pipes as we have been dealing with them for two days.

I knew we were in for some real fun weather when last Thursday the school called to say that school would be closed on Friday for "severe cold weather." I was sure that extreme cold weather was just going to be another perfectly sunny day. Boy was I wrong! In parts of Tennessee on Friday morning it was 0 degrees plus the wind chill. It was so cold outside!!!Anyway, back to the story. Friday morning we woke up and had absolutely NO running water in our entire house. I immediately called Kevin at work and asked him what I needed to do. We both kind of were dumb founded and really didn't have a clue. The ironic part of this whole experience is that I am the emergency preparedness specialist in my ward and let's just say I was unprepared for this situation in every way possible. I had no water storage for back-up, I had no idea where the outside pipes were, I was just clueless! I ran to the grocery store in the freezing cold to stock up on water. I mentioned to the sales clerk at the store that our pipes were frozen and he immediately replied "oh you must not be from around here." Good guess how can you tell?

To make a long story short, we now have water. We have never been happier to see running water coming out of our taps.

I am so grateful for Brother Rose who is a member of our stake. He is a handy man and knows how to fix everything. He was at our house today from 10:00 a.m.-7:00 p.m. He charged us $66.00 and that was only because he bought a replacement part for us. He wanted absolutely nothing in payment for labor for over nine hours of work. (Most of which he spent down in our crawl space.) Thank you so much Brother Rose!

I am going to go soak in the bathtub and enjoy my water. Something that should never again be taken fore granted.

Leah and Audrey at two months old

I can hardly believe that two months have already gone by since we brought these little bundles home from the hospital. Leah and Audrey are growing like weeds that's for sure. Leah now weighs 9 pounds and Audrey weighs 10 pounds. They are happy and healthy little girls, and are doing remarkably well. They can now sleep about six hours at night which makes for a very happy Mom. They both are smiling now which is so cute. I had to make a video just so you can see for yourselves what cute little girls we have.

Jane Fonda and her twin sister

Alyssa checked out a dance dvd from the library, and she has been obsessed with learning all of the cool moves. I thought it was Jane Fonda herself when I came downstairs and found her and Kelsie wearing all of their exercise gear dancing their little hearts away. I couldn't help but take a video of it. Oh, I just love these sweet little girls! Notice how hard Alyssa is concentrating!

I bet your exhausted!

Don't let these innocent faces fool you

An exhausted MOM

This is only a few days worth of laundry

An exhausted DAD

Whenever I am in public with my four girls it seems the questions and comments are generally the same. questions like "are those twins"?, "Are you going to try for a boy"? The comments are almost as dumb as the questions and they usually go something like this, "wow, you have your hands full.", "if anyone was meant to have twins it was you.", "your poor husband is out numbered", and my favorite comment of all which is, "I bet that you are EXHAUSTED!" Wow, you think? Well, I am here to say that yes I am EXHAUSTED, and today is no exception. With piles of laundry to wash, girls who want me to play make-believe, a house that just needs to be hit with a wrecking ball, babies who have been crying non-stop all day, a mother who has not gotten dressed for the day, dinner that is still waiting to be made, kids who need to be bathed, a husband who is working yet another 30 hour shift, church services to be attended to tomorrow alone with four kids, bills that need to be paid, overdue library fines, a forgotten about hair appointment, preparing for upcoming visitors, feeling like the worst mother in the world for cutting Audrey's finger while trying to cut her nails, the list goes on and on.... Let's hope the rest of the night gets easier... TO BE CONTINUED..... My babies are starting to cry yet again.

Welcome 2009, goodbye 2008

To say that 2008 brought us a few changes is an understatement, it brought us more changes then I ever thought could be possible. 2008 will definitely go down in history as a year that we will never forget.

We started out the year with Kevin interviewing for residency programs wondering where it would be that we would spend the next four years of our life. Would it be Minnesota, Utah,Pennsylvania, Tennessee, New Mexico, Michigan, Wisconsin, Or Nebraska? Time would only tell....

The beginning of 2008 also brought on a lot of heartache for our family as we dealt with the devastating fire that burned down my brother's house due to a wood burning stove. Luckily, my brother, his wife, and their four small children survived. We are just grateful that they were not harmed by the fire.

In early spring we were able to take our first family vacation to the happiest place on earth. Disneyland ! Our girls of course loved every minute, and can't wait to go back. It must of been the happiest place on earth as I learned a few weeks after returning that we were expecting
another baby. I had a hunch that I was having twins, and told Kevin often that I was pretty sure that we were going to have two babies. He would laugh over and over repeating the same words. "if there is a God who loves me, it won't be twins." Well, the joke was on him after an ultrasound was done a few weeks later that reveled that indeed we were going to be the parents of TWINS!

Life from the point just seemed to get crazier. We soon approached Kevin's graduation from medical school,we purchased our first home having to leave our cinder block palace behind. As we were preparing ourselves to be the parents of multiples, we were also preparing to move across the country to the only place that I didn't want to go which I have to admit was TENNESSEE! Moving was a major stress for 2008, but somehow we survived!

Kevin also started his first real job which includes real paychecks. (No more student loans, hurray!) His real job also includes lots of crappy hours, lots of onry moods, lots of staying up late, lots of taking care of patients, and lots of losing his own patience!

Our "happy" babies were born just before Thanksgiving and we had so much to be grateful for this year even with all of the stress of so many major events.

We are hoping that 2009 is a little less stressful, and as Kevin says, "possibly a little more QUIET."