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Today was seriously one of the weirdest days I have had in a long time, and it didn't start out that way. For starters, I had a man come to my door who looked about like this:

He claimed that I owned his dog who looks like this:

I explained to him that I did not own his dog nor had I ever seen this dog in the neighborhood. After much debate about this stupid mutt, he then tells me that his sister-in-law who lives across the street told him that she sold me this dog. (Now don't you think that you should probably meet someone at least once before you are doing transactions with them?) seeing how I have never met this woman, and that she has only been my neighbor for less than a month, I found this situation to be rather weird.

As I am talking to this redneck who is standing at my back door, my heart is pounding. What if he tries to come in and look for the dog? What if he is really a robber and is just making up this dumb story to see if anyone is home at this house during the day? You never know! There is nothing I hate more than solicitors. The solicitor who sticks out in my mind the most is this kid who is selling this magnificent cleaner. You know the cleaner, the one that claims to clean ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING. I tell him I am not interested and send him on his way, but before he leaves he wants to show me how safe his cleaner is and he immediately starts to drink it straight from the bottle. Yuck, anyway I don't like solicitors, and hardly ever open my door to strange people who I dont' know. Back to my story.

I finally convince Mr. redneck that we don't have his dog, and I see him get in his truck and head down our driveway. A few minutes later, I see him now driving back and fourth in front of our house. I decide that for safety measures, I better just call the police department.

While I am waiting for the police department to arrive, I tell my girls to stay in the house and keep everything locked while I head over to the neighbors house to give them a piece of my mind. I knock on the door, and quickly my mind starts racing again. What if this is a set up? What if these people kill me right here on this porch. Oh no, my girls are all home alone, and they won't know what happened to me.I was terrified okay, what can I say? Well, my lovely neighbor opens the door, and I ask him why he is telling his relatives that I own his dog. He pretends to not know anything I am talking about. The house is full of guys who look like this, and who are

covered in tattoos from head to toe.They even invited me in. In a calm voice, I told them that I would stay outside on the porch. I told the man who opened the door to not get me involved with his drama, and I then hear his wife tell me that I don't need to worry about anything. (Worry, why would I worry, the vampire teeth couldn't hurt that bad could they?) I thought that people were just missing a lot of teeth in Tennessee, never before had I seen pure gold teeth.

I did make it home safely and the cops arrived to ask me about my experience. The cop apparently knows this family that just moved in, and has already been dealing with them for different reasons.

What happened to normal people is what I want to know? We have the hardest time getting nice people to move into our neighborhood.

I think that I am just going to enjoy the rest of my day inside with my doors locked, and I can only hope that the rest of my day will be somewhat NORMAL.